Dance Expression

 

When was the last time you danced? I mean really danced. Uninhibited and care free. I danced like I've never danced before at a women's new year movement ritual, led by Stacey Butcher. I was invited by a friend and I really didn't know what to expect, although I knew I was about to embark on an interesting new experience. The timing was perfect, I'm always excited to try new things, especially with the start of a new year. We were asked to wear white clothing, which represented our clean white canvas which lies ahead of us in the new year. As we dance we step out of the old and into the new, setting intention through our movement. I arrived at the studio, the setting was beautiful, a wooden dance floor with lit candles all around the perimeter. I had the pleasure of meeting a few of the ladies while waiting to check in, they were experienced dancers or Rhythms practitioners. The women looked like angels in their white as they stretched and glided across the floor. I could sense their confidence, passion and love for dance. I felt welcomed but I anticipated the unknown of what was behind the curtain.  

We warmed up on the dance floor. Some warmed up gracefully like dancers, using the rail mounted to the wall to assist, some stretched using yoga moves, some stretched with tai chi moves, very fluid. I stretched like a runner, basic stretching without fancy frills. The music played and the dance party began. Forty or so women ranging in age from their 20s to their 60s expressing themselves through dance. The music was perfectly choreographed for the evening, it invited whole body expression. I began to move to the music, feeling a bit shy but also wanting to be authentic and in the moment. We were encouraged to move out of our one single spot and move into the open space in the room. At first I worried about getting into someone else’s space or bumping into someone. Feeling a little awkward still, I needed to find my happy place, my comfort zone. I began visualizing hiking along a trail, moving in a forward direction. Okay, this isn't so bad, I'll just do what I know, and I continued to hike incorporating my arms, feeling the music, hiking like I've never hiked before, with my whole body. The music changes and I am shedding off the old, another song and I am shedding off the anger, no wait, it’s not anger, its intent. I have intention, I have purpose. I am on the right path. Another song, I'm so happy, others are happy around me, I see it in their dance. I want to celebrate, I am celebrating. Another song, just swaying to the music, just wanting to take it all in. Others around me are dancing around the room, shedding, clearing, some just sway, some pause, some stretch. Another song, I am a princess, I am silly, I am having fun and I am surrounded by fun, but only for a moment. The music changes, I feel tribal, dancing to the rhythm of the drum. I am in a tribe, there is joy, celebration, pain and suffering, I feel it, I hear it, I see it, and it’s going to be okay. We are a village, there is support, acceptance and love.

  " Dance is the hidden language of the soul of the body."   - Martha Graham

 

 

 

Decide to Ride

When I reached the top of the paved road I was greeted at the trailhead by a hiker who said to me, “That was quite a climb! You used your heart, lungs and mind.” I replied, while gasping for air, “Yes, all of the above!” Pretty ironic he said those words to me on this particular day because this was the day I had made the decision to make it up a steep section that I like to refer to as Heinous Hill. I can ride it while in my worst bike shape and I can hike-a-bike up it in my best bike shape. So what gives? Why can I ride it some days but not on other days? The answer is simple. It all comes down to making a choice.

Some days I choose to climb, some days I choose to quit. On the days when I decide to quit, as soon as it starts to get challenging I put my foot on the ground. If I think about how hard it’s going to be then I give myself permission to quit. Other days I fool myself into thinking I’m going to climb it but I neglect to set myself up for success. And knowing I am not properly prepared, somehow makes it okay to quit.

So how do I set myself up for success? First, I make the decision to DO IT, this is an important step, because once I’ve made the decision to do it, then my mind isn’t consumed with thoughts of negativity. But that’s not all it takes. I also need to prepare myself by lowering my seat, switching gears, and drinking water. I focus on my breathing pattern, which prevents any mind chatter from sneaking in. I pull strength from deep inside to power me through. My eyes are focused slightly ahead but not too far ahead toward the upcoming obstacles. I allow nothing to stand in my way, not the rocks, not the ruts, and not the narrow line. I’m committed, I’m breathing, I’m in the moment. I’m doing it!

Victory is right around the corner, never give up! 

 

Recycle Poem

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

You say you care about our future

But you won't recycle...

Throw back another bottle,

toss it in the trash,

Smash another can.

You say our love is worth saving

But you won't recycle...

You refuse my love,

reuse old lies,

Our love is rotting.

You say let's bring us back

But you won't recycle...

Waste another kiss,

burn love letters,

written with my tears,

on recycled paper.

Turns to ash,

then to dust,

your heart continues to rust.

Life, re-birth, fueled by mother earth, my fire burns and I no longer yearn for your careless ways.

Written By: Deann MacDonald

I wrote this originally as song lyrics, but I really don't know the first thing about composing music. When I first began to write this piece, I did not intend for it to come out angrily like it sounds. I guess I was in a mood and annoyed with a certain non-recycler and it just came through in my writing. Although these words are not intended for the non-recycler I mention. The photo is from a school field trip that I went on as a volunteer parent. The field trip inspired me to start worm composting and buy glass, reusable milk bottles. 

 

Lessons from the Mountain

What I learned from Mt. Whitney...

Never underestimate the rigidness of highly traveled "Main Trail."

You may meet a trail angel before you even reach the trailhead.

Carry more than one wag bag, you never know who might need one.

Always have your camera ready, the view, the lighting and the mood changes with each step you take.

Take most of your pictures climbing up, and turn around every once in a while to take pictures behind you. You might not have the energy or desire to take pictures upon your descent.

If eating at the Portal Store, one pancake order can feed four hungry hikers and no one should eat six pieces of bacon at one time, even if you are about to, or did hike to the top of Whitney.

Pack light, your pack gets heavier as you climb higher. On summit day, carry the necessities and nothing more.

You are going to get stinking up there, essential oils, wipes and lavender dryer sheets are light luxury items.

When at altitude pack comfort foods , like chicken and mashed potatoes instead of spicy ethnic foods. Hot oatmeal with blueberries warms you up in the morning. Bring extra tea bags.

Listen to the advice and stories of other hikers, you may learn something or be inspired.

Clouds are attracted to mountains, summit early and get back down, it's not worth the risk. And at the first sign of rain, stop and put on the rain gear.

Be flexible with your itinerary, especially when being advised by Doug at the Portal. Doug knows Whitney.

You will experience highs and lows and you will feel elation and pain.

You will feel others highs and lows and you will feel others elation and pain.

Each step calls for concentration, consciousness and care. One bad step could end badly.

Listen to your climbing partner’s words and listen to their unspoken words.

Take time to meditate on the mountain.

Feel the strength of your surroundings. The mountains are alive.

The journey doesn't end on the mountain, the journey continues after you return home and for as long as you open yourself up to feel it.  

Thank you Bethany, Jenny & Kelly for the fabulous adventure!

Mt. Whitney Climb – Main Trail, September 12–15,  2013

Deann at the summit, elevation 14,505'

Nature Speaks by: Heather Ostrowski

My friend Heather Ostrowski posted this story on her Facebook page. I asked her if I could post it to my blog as my Mother’s Day post. Thank you Heather for sharing.


Deer sighted during my Walker Creek tour Feb 2013

A few months ago, I was seeing deer everywhere I went, randomly. My wise friend said that deer represent patience, and SO TRUE, at that moment I was needing to be reminded to be patient, a lot.



Coyote sighting on 40th birthday in Yosemite 2008
 

Then, a few weeks later, in the same spot I had seen one of the deer, I saw a red fox, run across the street. NO ONE believes me, in Novato, a red fox. The meaning of a red fox is around a wise messenger, happened to be at the time my daughter has ALL SORTS of pre-teen questions! Us moms ARE wise messengers!

Bunny sighting Coast Camp Summer 2009, Camping with Kids

Then today, driving down the SAME ROAD, a wild rabbit HOPS ACROSS THE ROAD, now this is a BUSY STREET... I looked up the meaning, and the one I could associate best with was Spring Celebration of Life. We all get wrapped up in the hub bub of life, and frustrations, and forget to enjoy it!

GOOD REMINDER! So friends, please all remember to celebrate your life TODAY! And look around at what Mother Nature is trying to tell you. (Too much?)

“Look deep into NATURE…

And then YOU will understand everything better” –Albert Einstein

The Wind

Son Nolan Flying a Kite April 2013

As the soft breeze gives life to the trees.

As a forced gust gives flight to a wounded wing.

Guiding the kite while bringing joy to a child.

As Mother Nature expresses her powers, creating illusions of art forms in the sky.

Delicately placing seeds of wildflowers in a lonely meadow.

Giving Northerly attention to our Nations stars and stripes.

Composing music, freeing the windsurfer to dance across the waters.

Carrying soft whispers...

Nolan and his buddy relaxing while kite flying April 2013

I

Love

You

Clinton.

 

Written in 1997 for my then boyfriend, now husband Clinton. Clinton was an avid windsurfer when we first met. He helped me discover my true passion and love for adventure.

Walk a Mile In My Shoes

Walk a mile in my shoes.

See what I see.

Hear what I hear. Feel what I feel.

THEN, MAYBE you'll

understand why I do what I do.

Till then, don't judge me.

 

Yosemite - below Vernal Falls 2011

Pillsbury Lake 2012 - owner identified*

Pismo Beach 2010

Stinson Beach - Parking Lot 2013

 I don't know what it is about random shoe sightings that I have encountered during my adventures. I find them to be curious, mysterious and forlorn. I can't help but to wonder who the person was wearing the shoe, where the shoe had traveled, how the shoe got left behind, and what became of the other mate? The shoes above where found and photographed in there original locations. They were perhaps forgotten, swept away by the surf, washed away in the tumbling rapids, lost and abandoned and never to be worn again. I can only hope that these expired shoes that once lived an adventurous life with their mates can somehow find peace and solitude as single shoe.

*Duct tape fip-flops at Lake Pillsbury were still being worn by their owner at the time the photo was taken, current status of flip-flops is unknown. 

Arch Rock - Tennessee Beach

8/6/2011

Solid form
A geologist’s gem
A photographer’s focal point
A visitor’s wonder
The iconic arch, touched by Mother Nature
Struck by wind, surf, rain and endless erosion
Decades of peering through a vertical halo, and into the soul of the sea
Stimulated by swift sunsets and long starry nights
The mysterious arch, grounded and united as a single form
With every last fiber of strength,
and with the inhalation and last breath of the salty air
Holding, holding
And with the exhalation of breath,
the arch releases from its tenacious grip, crumbling
Falling rocks, pebbles and dust particles
Tumbling into the water and mixing a bloody smear in the shallows
The rumble subsides
The only sounds are the waves sweeping debris into depths of the ocean
Reaching toward the sky
The light warms her dark shadows
Eternally emancipated, December 29th 2012

1/13/2013

By: Deann MacDonald

What's on Your Resume?

I’m not talking about your professional resume. I’m talking about your personal resume. I call mine my adventure resume. But you can call yours whatever fits your interests. You might call yours your hobbies resume or your passions resume. Get creative.

So why should you keep a personal resume? For me, it’s fun to look back at my accomplishments. It also keeps me motivated. As I look at what I’ve accomplished I also think about future goals and it helps to keep me on task. And it’s a great “at a glance” timeline. The years go by so fast and it’s hard to remember what I’ve done and when.

So spend some time creating your personal resume, fill the page with things that you’ve enjoyed doing, then look back at it from time to time and be proud of your accomplishments. Be sure to review your resume occasionally to update it and keep it fresh. Have fun with it!  

Below is a copy of my Adventure Resume to give you an example of what one can look like.

ADVENTURE RESUME

 Deann MacDonald

INTERESTS: Mountaineering, Backpacking, Snow Camping, Snowshoeing, Mt. Biking, Trail Running, Hiking, Wakeboarding, Camping

09/2012    Hike TRT Leg - Tahoe Meadows to Brockway Summit 19.7 miles, 10 hours

                 Summit - Mt. Rose 10,778 the next day

04/2012    Snow Camp - Mt. Shasta, Horse Camp, organized and led an all-women’s

                 backpack trip

07/2011    Summit - Mt. Shasta, Avalanche Gulch Route 14,179, solo climb

02/2011    Snow Camp - Carson Pass, organized and led an all-women's trip
                 Summit - Red Lake Peak, 10,063         
 

9/2010      Backpack - Cloud’s Rest, Yosemite 9,926, organized and led all-women's
                 trip

01/2010    Snow Camp Trip 1 - Echo Summit, Sierra Club backpack trip with son
                 Landon, age 7
02/2010    Snow Camp Trip 2 - Carson Pass

05/2009    Summit - Matterhorn, 12,264 Sierra Nevada Range, CA, Bay Area

                 Mountaineering Meetup Group

 

06/2007    Summit - Mt. Shasta, 14,162, West Face Route

                 Introduction to Mountaineering Course, CA Alpine Guides

07/2005    Childbirth - our son Nolan was born!

 

10/2004    Ran - Nike Half Marathon, San Francisco, CA, time 2:15:23

02/2004    Snow Camp - Inaugural snow camping backpack trip, Crane Flat, Yosemite

10/2002    Childbirth - our son Landon was born!

09/2001    Ran - Providian Relay, Calistoga to Santa Cruz, 199 Mile Relay Race

                 Team Results: Finished 3:01 p.m., total time: 29:01:33, Finished 31
                 out of 71within our division.
 

2001         Mt. Bike - Trips for Kids Fundraiser Ride, 34 Miles, Marin County, CA

12/2000    Ran - California International Marathon, Sacramento, CA, time 5:12:52

10/2000    Ran - Primo’s Run for Education Half Marathon, time: 2:18:32

07/1999    Hike - Half Dome 8,842, Yosemite, CA

                 Personal Experience: Made it to the top, faced my fear of heights

 

Ten Reasons To Snow Camp

 

 

1.  The ground is so clean you can drink it (and you will).

2.  The air is crisp and fresh, the best to breathe in, relax in, and cleanse with.

3.  It is serene, calm and picturesque, nature at its finest.

 

4.  There are no crowds. You are surrounded by nature and true peace and quiet.

5.  You will learn a new skill or teach somebody a new skill.

6.  It is an opportunity to bond with nature and experience adventure.

7.  Face your fears (the dark, the cold, the unknown) - feel empowered.

 

8.   Witness the winter night skies in the wilderness – the stars are brilliantly bright.

9.   Test your body, challenge yourself, experience the elements, feel alive.
10. Bond with friends, new and old, share in the experience. Laugh so hard you cry.

 

NATURE IS CALLING. WHAT ARE YOU WAITING FOR?

Rain Meditation

Fresh air, soft soil

Clean tracks, quenched thirst

Plants thrive, roots come alive

Clouds dissipate, life rejuvenate.

 

After a rainstorm get outdoors and breathe in the fresh air. Feel the renewed energy from the earth. Imagine being a rain cloud, rising high above, releasing cleansing tears that fall to the ground and lands in parched meadows, empty streams and thirsty forests. Feel the flow of the water as it touches down and fills in the dry cracks of the earth. Feel the fulfillment then take in a deep breath of the fresh clean air. Awe.

 
Written after a September rain on Mt. Burdell 2012

Where is your meditation?

WHERE IS YOUR MEDITATION?

Where is your meditation? Is it a priority? Is it on your “to do” list? Is it on Monday, Wednesday, and Friday or is it on Tuesday and Thursday? Is it on the weekends? Is it today? Is it tomorrow? Is it in the morning, mid-day, or at night? Is it during a full moon or during a new moon? Is it ten minutes or twenty minutes? Is it in a chair or on the floor? Do you hear music? Do you smell incense, or the fresh air from an open window? Is it outside with the singing birds and the warm sun? Is it just a thought, a thought for only a moment and then lost again? When will it become an action? Why is it so hard to find? It’s all around us. It’s with us right this moment. Invite it in. Allow it space to be. Greet it with an open heart and an open mind. Breathe.

Written 1/7/2013 after a day-long retreat at Spirit Rock called Women, Food and God: a Transformational Journey, taught by Geneen Roth. I decided it was time to commit to my meditation practice.

Headed up the "Face" trail in 2011 with son Nolan

Face It, Lighten Up, and Be Sure-Footed into the New Year

I just completed my last hike in 2012! I carried my backpack with weight and headed up the “face” trail on Mt. Burdell. It’s an unmarked trail but I’ve always called it the “face” because it literally goes straight up the mountain.

As I’m climbed I thought about my goals for the new year - get back to morning workouts, make strength training a part of my routine, spend more quality time with the hubby, create a vision board, meditate, be more mindful of my alcohol intake, eat better - it all sounds obtainable.  

I thought about the pack I carried on my back as I often wear when I am training for a climb or backpack trip. As I enter a new year I will face my challenges, my goals, and my dreams head on and no matter what heavy loads I carry on my shoulders – judgment, resentment, fear, negativity -  I will remain light and work through any obstacles that may arise.

As I climbed the steep face, slowly and rhythmically, deep in my thoughts, I placed the tip of my boot down on a step and lost my balance. I felt my body being pulled by the weight of my pack. I quickly leaned forward toward the mountain to regain my balance. My heart skipped a beat and I said “woah!” out loud then hiked on telling myself to be more sure-footed, now and into the new year.

So long 2012. I welcome 2013 with an open heart and an open mind.

 

“Self” Arrest 

Matterhorn Peak

Northern Yosemite National Park

Elevation 12,279  

Climbed May 15, 2009,

Written December 2013 

In hopes to meet some follow mountaineers, particularly women, I joined the Bay Area Mountaineering Meetup group. I signed up for their Matterhorn climb in the high sierra. This was a momentous trip for me as it would be only my second mountaineering experience and my first time climbing with peers and without a guide. I was concerned with my level of skill; it was important for me to be “self”-sufficient and to keep up with the pace of the group. I spoke with the group leader and after he assessed my past experience, he assured me I should be fine.

The Sonora Pass had just opened up that day. My sister lives in Sonora so I drove up early for a short visit. My climbing companions met me in Soulsbyville at a minimart where my sister’s boyfriend dropped me off. I knew I was putting my family in an uncomfortable situation – just drop me at the curb with three strange men that I met on the internet and wish me well as I go on a backcountry expedition with very little experience. To this day, I am still considered “self”ish by my husband for going on this trip. Scoring a hall pass was not easy and if it wasn’t for the other female signed up, I don’t think this trip would have happened.

 

We arrived at our campsite in Mono Village at 10 p.m., elevation 7,100. It was too late to pitch my tent so I slept on top of it, next to the pines and under the stars. We met the rest of our party at the trailhead at 8:30 the next morning. I felt winded as the effects of the altitude challenged me as I hiked up the continuous switch backs. The rock crossings were tough but I managed to stay within a close enough distance from the group. Once we reached the snowline I was content. I loved hiking in the snow and my new mountaineering boots were performing well.

We were at the start of the high sierra and the views were magnificent! This was also the destination of author, Jack Kerouac, in his book “Dharma Bums,”  he set off on a spiritual quest on the same mountain. He determined on his climb that, “you can’t fall off a mountain.” I read his book before my climb and his words didn’t give me much confidence as I entered unknown territory.

We continued up the last steep section of snow and re-grouped below the exposed verticle rocks. The rest of the route was rock scrabbling up class 2 and up to class 5.  I was prepared to end my journey here while the others continued to the summit. “We all go to the summit” I was told. I was coached through the vertical rock maze, feeling out of my comfort zone but we all made it to the summit. I felt like a part of a team, a team with a common goal. I was at the highest point of the Saw Tooth Range with my peers. At the elevation of 12,279, I felt like I was on top of the world. I am a mountaineer!

We descended the rocks and by the time we reached the snow line it had softened. I had to concentrate on my footing, packing down the snow with each deliberate step to avoid slipping. This technique was working well until I lost my concentration and my foot slid out and I began sliding down the slope on my back, feet first. I attempted to self-arrest but in the process I dug the ice ax too high above my body and when it made contact with the snow it slipped out of my hands. Thoughts and questions raced through my mind as I slipped down the mountain. When will I stop? Will I hit the exposed rocks just below me? Will the impact injure my legs? I’ve never broken a bone. What am I doing? I’m a Mom! I shouldn’t be taking these risks. How fast am I going? When will I stop! I dug the heels of my boots and the fingertips of my gloves into the snow. I felt that with each bump and dip I hit that it may have been slowing me down. At last I came to a halt, I don’t know how I stopped but I did. I planted my heels into the snow as best as I could so that I would not continue the wild ride. My companions worked their way down to me and brought me my ice ax. The rest of the way down I focused on each step, knowing the result of an accidental slip. We finally reached a point where we could glissade and at last made it back to high camp.

After some nutrition and hydration the group decided to descend back down to the trailhead and head for home. There was plenty of daylight and no one wanted to endure the penetrating rays of the sun that afternoon. We packed up and headed down the mountain. I felt energized by the climb and humbled by my fall. The fall was a sobering lesson, one that taught me to respect the mountains and to know my limits. Mountaineering can be a dangerous sport. I need to learn the proper skills and make smart decisions. I have a beautiful family to come home to, they need me and I need them.

As I look back at my failed self-arrest I think of Kerourac’s statement; I may have fallen on the mountain but I did not fall off the mountain. I will continue with my mountaineering journey no matter what obstacles lie ahead of me. As the Zen proverb says, “When you get to the top of the mountain, keep climbing.” That is exactly what I plan to do!

Alaska Invites Adventure

 

Climb deep into the forest,

but escape before darkness reigns.

 

Take just enough water which one requires, the forbidden water is all around you, tempting your dry pallet and thirsty joints.

 

Don’t be fooled by the trails end,

the forest that has fallen,

it’s beauty and adventure awaits you.

 

Forage through nature’s challenges and obstacles, as you will be rewarded at the end of your journey.

 

Don’t listen to the voices of doubt, fear, fatigue, pain.

 

Listen to the deep woods, the moving water, the unrecognizable sounds of animals,

the songs of birds.

 

Listen to the footsteps on the damp forest floor, a deep inhalation of new breath, a groan of inner strength to clear a wide step.

Listen to the call of a bear warning, so to not surprise the hairy beast.

 

Written 7/15/2008 on the airplane ride home from Alaska.